Within just a few short weeks I have been hit with a series of problems and conflicts that are threatening to topple my mental health scales.

New relationship - just shy of 3 months, crashed and burned. He attacked my character - really brought me down even though I told him what my struggles were in advance. For the sake of my mental health and wellbeing I had to let him go. Awkwardly, we both live in a small village of 225 people. Thankfully he is away working a lot of the time.

My first cousin whose family I had been spending a lot of time with since last fall, lashed out at me over texting him at the wrong time. He then unleashed a string of diabolical insults that stung so much I was simply shocked. His wife has since pressured me to try and reconcile. I feel that true colors, once seen, should not be repainted.

Thirdly, I accidentally dialled a colleague’s number whilst venting about a difficult situation with her to myself! She insisted that I had meant all the verbal barrage against her (I had not) and took the information to my part time job and had me terminated, no questions asked of me such as; “Was there a misunderstanding? Was the overheard conversation ACTUALLY meant for her? 

Since then, a few people with zero conflict with me are suddenly shunning me where they once greeted me on the street. Oh well.

Fed up as I am, I wonder what is even the point of going through the motions of making effort to make friends and acquaintances just to be turned on like I was nothing. 

Do I sub-consciously sabotage myself, I wonder? And if so, how, when I consciously want success? Your feedback is appreciated.

Bailey

A Moodscope member