I don’t know if any of you have this problem.

When I’m low, haven’t slept etc but can operate and carry on as normal, some people sense that I’m vulnerable and take advantage.

However when I’m on top of things and can be witty, come across as knowledgeable and self-confident, people treat me so differently and with respect.

This doesn’t apply to everyone. There are some people who don’t notice my moods (I think) and in any case wouldn’t treat me in a disrespectful way. 

It’s a handful of people but unhappily these few make me feel awful and they dig even further into my lack of self esteem. I allow them to do it as I feel powerless to say anything back or turn into a self confident me. 

After an encounter when I’m feeling low (and I don’t try to avoid people or situations as I feel it’s better to carry on!), the way I feel I’ve been treated  and the way I feel afterwards stays with me for a few days. 

I tell myself it’s people who have a bullying nature, who need a punch bag like I am some days, many days if I’m honest, that make me feel inadequate. It’s their problem really. 

However I am frustrated that I come across like I do and open myself up to such treatment. Unless I avoid these people and I can’t (without being too open about who they are here), I can’t think of a solution. 

It’s been the case for years, at work and in my personal life but I’m still not used to it, find it very difficult and feel annoyed with myself I let it happen and then let it affect me so much!

Jul

A Moodscope member