I first started recording my scores on Moodscope at the beginning of 2015 and when I look back at the early comments I can't quite believe I'm the same person. This morning I read this:
"Don't see the point of anything anymore, just don't care. Can't see how, after four years of this anything is going to make a difference. If I could go I would."
It's taken a long time and progress has been gradual, but my life is unrecognisable from where it was in early 2015. I still have occasional dips (mostly menopausal I think!) but mainly things are on an even keel. I love my life, I love my little boy in a way I didn't think possible, and boy have I learnt some big lessons about life.
This blog is very short because all I really want to say is hang in there. Whatever you are facing, whatever you are feeling, whatever space you're in, it will get better. I never thought, when I was lying face-down on the bathroom floor crying and begging not to be here anymore, that things would get better and I would love life again and want to live it. But they did and I do, and I don't just want to live it but I want to live it for a long time.
Never ever give up because you just don't know what's coming next. It might not feel like that right now but trust me, it will change.
Love to you all and much love and gratitude to Moodscope for being with me in the darkest moments of life, you helped carry me through.
A Moodscope member.
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