Back in the late 80s and early 90s, psychometric tests were all the rage in my working world. I did quite a few including the well-known ones like Belbin and Myers-Briggs. Like most management fads, they returned to fashion a decade or so later, when the blue-chip company I worked for subjected everyone to one test or another for no clear reason or benefit.

Now I’m a little cynical about management fads, and wary about work-based psychometric tests, especially when the results aren’t interpreted by a professional with real experience, but I did learn a few useful things about myself, one of which was that I have a pretty high need to achieve – a “high N-Ach” in1980s psychobabble.

Sadly, I spent most of the 1990s and 2000s on work in which I achieved very little of value; I worked mostly on large-scale technology projects, and I can honestly say that over almost 20 years, 80% of my time was spent on projects which delivered little or nothing useful; some were canned part-way through, many others were sort-of completed but were way over budget, late and produced few real benefits; in one case the company I worked for went broke. The early 2000s were an absolute nadir for me, when I worked on a huge white elephant of a project (for the blue-chip company I cited earlier) which no-one dared cancel as it was the pet project of the finance director; it was no coincidence that at this time I suffered the worse depression of my life. Unlike many of my work colleagues, I needed not only to achieve something, but achieve something useful  - to make a difference.

What I realise now is that those of us who are not the strongest mentally, but have a strong need for achievement, should think very carefully before taking on big projects with a high risk of failure.

Belatedly I’ve learned to focus on smaller goals, both at work and outside it, and in my voluntary work since retirement. I still get hugely frustrated that I put a lot of effort, for example, in organising a charity fundraising event which only raises a tiny amount of money, but at least I can move on, and congratulate myself on other small achievements. Even finishing painting the garden fence or fixing a website problem for a local charity is something positive – achievements don’t have to be earth-shattering. And I’ve learned to say “no” much more when asked to take on projects/tasks that I see as one big headache, and not feel guilty about it. It’s progress of a sort.

Oldie But Goldie

A Moodscope member