January 4th, 2017, I wrote my blog, “Making Plans for Nigel” (you can find it here, https://bit.ly/3FVSqzd if you want). In that blog, I wrote about my dislike of New Year’s resolutions.

One phrase I particularly dislike is, “A New Year; A New You!” I don’t think we can, out of nowhere, exchange who we are for someone “new.” While many of us might like to be issued with new (young) body, not subject to the aches, pains and fatigue of the one we have now, would we really choose to begin all over again and relearn the hard lessons of life?

No, of course I know that is not what is meant by that ridiculous phrase. The “New You” possesses the qualities we desire but do not have. Maybe the New You loves to exercise and eagerly runs five miles each morning. Perhaps the New You is ambitious and proactive; finds no difficulty in asserting themselves; is endlessly patient with a demanding job or family. Perhaps the New You manages their time better; reads more improving books… I could go on.

The New You is a myth. The New You is based on New Year’s resolutions. Statistics show that most resolutions are broken by 5th February.

I am encouraging you to make no resolutions to change yourself, but instead to look at yourself with “new” eyes.

When I work with my clients to develop their own personal sense of style, I ask them to do some homework before the consultation. I ask them to look at the qualities they possess which they bring to the world. Many of them are challenged by this; it is not our habit to blow our own trumpet and boast of our virtues. I prompt them to ask their friends and loved ones what they think. The client typically arrives with a list of about ten words. I find, with focussed questioning, that list can be expanded to at least twenty.

Here are some words that come up. There are 50 words here, and my challenge to you is to go through them and tick the ones you feel you can claim. Try for at least fifteen. If you have access to a printer, then print this blog and go through the words with a hi-lighter; if not, write them down. Feel free to add your own. The only rule is that they must be positive words.

Accepting; Analytical; Approachable; Authentic; Calm; Compassionate; Considerate; Courageous; Creative; Determined; Disciplined; Down-to-earth; Empathic; Energetic; Enthusiastic; Fair; Far-seeing; Free-spirited; Friendly; Fun; Generous; Gentle; Good in a crisis; Hard-working; Honest; Humorous; Joyful; Kind; a Leader; Level-headed; a Listener; Loving; Loyal; Meticulous; Motivated; Neat & Tidy; a Nurturer; Open; Organised; Passionate; Patient; Positive; a Questioner; Reliable; Stoical; Sympathetic; Tenacious; a Thinker; Tolerant; True.

Once you have all those words, look at them. Do you like yourself?

Is there really a need for a New You when the Old You is so great!

Mary

A Moodscope member.