My lovely friend died last October. She was my friend and my ‘honoury' Auntie all rolled into one. Along with chronic pain, she had a physical illness that was never diagnosed but suspected to be somewhere in the ‘Parkinson’s family’. She struggled with life-long depression and was a recovering alcoholic. She was also one of the most creatively talented people I have ever had the pleasure to call my friend. Her talents and skills were so immense, I don’t think she even knew how amazing she was. She was also smart, clever, witty and loyal. 

Over her last year of life, I visited her at least once a week and, looking back now, I am so glad I got to spend those precious hours with her. Time to chat, to listen, to sit, to soothe, to reminisce, to giggle, to cry… 

I spoke at her funeral. I think she would have been pleased. She probably would have given me an edit or two… but pleased nonetheless and, perhaps, amused.

She loved clothes: she designed them, created them and altered them but she also got a big kick out of buying them - especially if she got a bargain! I am wearing a top she bought me as I write this: swirls of blues with some sparkle and two ribbons - she loved a bit of bling! She wasn’t impressed with anyone wearing too much black all at once - we all deserve some colour to cheer the soul, she believed.

I called this blog ‘a pure grief’ because our relationship did feel pure, simple and very real. I loved her and now she’s gone - I don’t have regrets. I feel I spent as much time with her as I could. And I feel she valued our friendship just as much as I valued hers. So, I am not left with a myriad of emotional complications. And honestly, I think that’s as good a grief as we can get. As good as is possible in this crazy mixed-up world. 

To be missed is to be loved. I will never forget her. And I’ll always add a little sparkle to my wardrobe…

Wishing all Moodscopers well today and sending extra warm thoughts to anyone who is grieving a loved one… 

Salt Water Mum x

A Moodscope member