A Terrible Kindness

Self care
29 Jul 2023

Shards of splintered glass enter my heart as someone tries to take over, showing little or no respect, leaving me discombobulated. Noctlucent clouds hang over my home, as someone with apparent kindness moves in and attempts to take over my life, giving me no space to move or grow. The  feelings of excessive hidden rage lie dormant for many years but are now surfacing into the light of day.  

“Misfortune must ever be the lot of those who transgress the laws of social life.”  Margaret Mountcashel as quoted by Claire Tomalin in The Life and death of Mary Wollstonecraft.

In a previous age I may have done just this. I have needed to disentangle myself from the knots in which I have tied myself. I never seem to take a more straightforward path to my destination. Wasps can become waspish if anyone dares to transgress their social and moral unwritten moral code.

Healing from painful experiences which have been the outcome of difficult and strained relationships, is possible but it can be a slow process. I experienced some painful experiences in the past. 

In Japan there is a traditional repair method known as Kintsugi where broken pieces of pottery are stuck together with Japanese lacquer (unishi), the joints are painted and decorated with gold or silver powder and the pottery continues to be used. Using Kintsugi, the healing power of pottery repair, we can always begin anew despite the past failures. Accepting imperfections helps us to break free from obsession or perfectionism which causes unnecessary stress and inhibits creativity and productivity.

I wondered whether using Kintsugi for my emotional repair would effectively repair me and help to retain my inner core as well as gradually transform my life.

“I have felt that there were invisible lines stretched between my spirit and the spirits of others” to echo Helen Kellers words. 


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