Addictions

31 Jan 2019
Bookmark

I am addicted to video games. Not the complex treasure hunts, nor killing all those who step in my path, but the mindless free ones, such as 2048, Minesweeper and Tetris.

I delete them from my phone, and avoid them for months or even years. Then somebody mentions one in passing.

My evil voice entices me:

"Ooh! You used to enjoy playing that. Downloading and playing for a few minutes won't do any harm"

"It'll take my mind off things. A bit of Me Time."

And I succumb. But it isn't a few minutes. I can play this rubbish for hours. I waste the day. I have other, much better and more enjoyable things to do. But I can't quite stop.

"I'll just finish this game"

"Oh, that was a terrible score, I'm sure I can do better than that..."

Even when I force myself to do something else, I am haunted by the shapes and numbers trickling across the screen in my imagination. My brain won't switch off.

I'll stay up playing till 1am, sitting in the cold kitchen as the central heating has turned itself off. I can't quite pull myself away.

Eventually I come to my senses and delete the app off my phone. Cold turkey is the only method. I have to apply myself to more meaningful pursuits.

Unlike many other addictions, the only person who is affected is me. It doesn't cost money, nor is it illegal or exploitative. But it is wasting my life. I feel guilty that I haven't done chores or treats or worthy past times.

Each day should be precious and used wisely. I know this because I have friends who regularly post such homilies on social media, usually over a picture of a butterfly or country scene. It implies that they use each day wisely, but they don't. I know this because they are wasting their lives posting nonsense on social media.

I'd appreciate your tips and ideas to help me control this urge to waste my time...

Susannah

A Moodscope member.

Thoughts on the above? Please feel free to post a comment below.

Moodscope members seek to support each other by sharing their experiences through this blog. Posts and comments on the blog are the personal views of Moodscope members, they are for informational purposes only and do not constitute medical advice.

Email us at support@moodscope.com to submit your own blog post!

Comments

You need to be Logged In and a Moodscope Subscriber to Comment and Read Comments