Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time…

This is often the reason given when something goes disastrously wrong; something that was obviously a stupid idea in the first place.

Except, we didn’t see it for the stupidity it was. To us, it seemed like a good idea at the time.

For some of us, looking back on our first marriage, we can see how it was never going to work out. Our friends and family members could see it, but we were blind. Having said that, sometimes things do work, and everyone is surprised fifty years later as the couple celebrate their golden wedding with love and laughter.

We make mistakes in our exam subjects; in our location; our clothing styles; our careers and employment.

We make mistakes in the way we work - my children study far harder than I ever did and have the results to reward them; in the way we conduct our relationships; in the way we manage money.

What really matters is not that we make mistakes, which are inevitable, but whether we learn from them.

A friend of mine says, “Life repeats its lessons until you know them.”

What lessons have you learned, and which are you repeating for the sixtieth time?

I think I have learned to be realistic in my expectations of people, so I am not constantly disappointed. I have learned, in my good times, not to overcommit, so the bad times don’t cause such disruption to others. I have learned to say, “I love you,” and to appreciate that for some people it needs to be said in ways other than words. I have learned that alcohol is not my friend.

I still struggle with self-care, and end up exhausting myself. I still struggle with managing my diary, so frequently double and even treble book myself. I still hurt others when I don’t listen. Those are the repeating lessons.

So, I love this poem; I think it expresses it perfectly.

Autobiography in Five short Chapters.

Chapter I

I walk down the street,
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in,
I am lost… I am hopeless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter II

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I’m in this same place.
But it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter III

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hold in the sidewalk.
I see it there.
I still fall in… it’s a habit… but, my eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

Chapter IV

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hold in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

Chapter V

I walk down another street.

                                                Portia Nelson

Mary

A Moodscope member.