The talk today was about being worthy. The speaker stated that it is easy to say someone is worthy, it is harder to hear it and even harder to believe it. This really struck me as I question my worth a lot, in many situations.
Am I good enough? I'm not as intelligent, pretty, gifted, fortunate... as him/her. But is that true? I think sometimes the old voices from the past have a lot to do with this. It is easy to say let go of the past, but quite another thing to be able to do it. Those voices have become ingrained in my memory. When something is said enough to a person, it is believed and said to oneself. It takes a long time to overcome this, to recognise it in the first place, then to replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts.
The problem is, all the positive things ever said to me, have been drowned out by the negative things. It is a journey I am at the beginning of in learning to be kind to me, to recognise the negative thoughts in order to turn them around to become positive thoughts.
There are many sayings I could use, for example, "If you think you are too small to be effective, then you have never been in bed with a mosquito" - Betty Reese. "You can be the most beautiful person in the world and everybody sees light and rainbows when they look at you, but if you yourself don't know it, all of that doesn't even matter. Every second that you spend on doubting your worth, every moment that you use to criticize yourself; is a second of your life wasted, is a moment of your life thrown away. It's not like you have forever, so don't waste any of your seconds, don't throw even one of your moments away."
- C. JoyBell C.
All are great sayings in principle but taking them on board and making them part of my every day is quite another thing.
I know in my head that I have many great qualities which can make a difference every day but the heart does not always believe it.
I shared this on Facebook last year. It seems relevant to this blog. It is written by someone called Kristina Makeyava, it does make me think. "You may think that you are completely insignificant in this world. But someone drinks coffee every morning from their favourite cup that you gave them. Someone heard a song on the radio that reminded them of you. Someone read the book you recommended, and plunged headfirst into it. Someone remembered your joke and smiled, returning home from work in the evening. Someone loves himself a little more, because you gave them a compliment. Never think that you have no influence whatsoever. Your trace, which you leave behind with even a few good deeds, cannot be erased".
I will continue to practice kindness to myself. I AM WORTHY.
A Moodscope member