Recently life has been hard; many of you know my life partner Jane died in November 2024; I live alone now, with my dog, Celyn and 7 happy hens. I am disabled; using a mobility scooter and two sticks to get around. 

Vegan for almost a decade in my youth, my body is now unable to produce enough B12 for robust health. Lack of B12 has crazy effects and can make life very difficult indeed. 

For years I have had a 3 monthly B12 injection; my ‘symptoms’ have never gone away, the injection kept things pretty much under control…or at least, I was able to function. 

However B12 injections are expensive. There is a drive to reduce the number being handed out. Consequently I have been told I will not have anymore injections until after further blood tests in August 2025. 

I wondered if the reason for my excessively low mood is a result of the loss of my life partner plus the loss of the B12. A major effects side effect is depression. 

I submitted an online request to my Health Centre. A text message asked me to call and talk with ‘Sarah’ Three days later I managed to do so. ‘Sarah’ was not available; the Receptionist told me ‘there will be no change to their decision; I can refer you to the Mental Health Team if you like?’ Assuring her that wouldn’t be necessary, I asked to please speak with someone medically trained right now ‘that will not be possible at this time’ which made me very cross. I told her I was feeling Very Low and needed help. Why was she being so awkward? She said again ‘mental health team…..’ I told her she was not listening and I was going to put down the phone. So I did.  

That unleashed a load of trouble. I picked up a missed call from a ‘private’ number. It was telling me an ambulance was on its way to collect me and take me to a secure unit where my needs could be assessed. The caller would call again in 5 minutes. 

Two hours later the caller called again. She seemed very doubtful that the ambulance should be cancelled as I was a suicide risk. I assured her I was not. She would call again in 5 minutes. 

Two hours later, she called again. She explained the Health Centre had contacted the police telling them I was a vulnerable senior, disabled and suicidal. An ambulance was called and seven hours later, had still not arrived. I assure the caller that I have my dog and my hens and I have life to live for. I am GRIEVING not suicidal. She did not sound convinced, but did agree to cancel the ambulance. 

Friends, this was terrifying. Had the ambulance arrived, my fury would have convinced them I was in need of being placed in a secure unit. How could I have got out? How? 

CMM

A Moodscope member