For Christmas this year I received a bird feeding station, a tall pole with many hooks for hanging bird feeders. I had wanted this because hanging feeders from the apple tree had resulted in them being regularly raided by pigeons, jackdaws, jays and squirrels. This meant there was no food left for the little songbirds.

Today we put it up in the front garden where I will have a good view. and we hung on it all the feeders stuffed full of birdseed, meal worms and suet balls. Now we’re just waiting for the birds to find it.

We hope to take a family holiday at the end of February and my younger daughter, who works for a supermarket, has put in her request for leave. We are waiting to hear whether she is granted this leave before we book the holiday.

We have done all the work on Alastair’s father’s estate and now we are waiting for the solicitor to do her part and to get probate.

If you’re like me, you’re not good at waiting when the outcome is uncertain. I’m pretty confident the birds will find the feeders, but we don’t know if my daughter will get her holiday, and we’re not sure if we’ve done everything right for the probate. I confess to being anxious about all three situations. I also feel guilty about being anxious, because it’s not as if we are waiting for medical results which could be far more serious.

It’s a low-grade anxiety; not like the sheer terror of the canal boat in October, but it preys on my mind and sends little tendrils of tension down my spine. I feel that I can’t quite relax.

I’m not sure of how to deal with this anxiety. One way I’ve heard of is to face the worst that could happen and then anything better is a bonus. My brother puts it more simply: “Could I die from this?” His next question is, “Is it illegal?” If the answer to both questions is no, then he’s prepared to go ahead without anxiety. I admire his sang froid immensely but cannot emulate it.

Other methods of dealing with anxiety are mindfulness and grounding, where you purposely pay attention to everything surrounding you and become conscious of the earth beneath your feet and everything you touch. This distracts you from the anxiety. I suggest that this last method may fail, however, if you are skydiving at the time!

I once heard that one’s levels of happiness depend on one’s ability to live with uncertainty. There is only one certainly in life and that is that we are all going to die at some point. Hopefully that point is a long way in the future, but it’s the only sure thing in life. Oh, and taxes! This thought certainly puts everything else into perspective.

What methods have you come across or tried when you are faced with waiting and anxiety?  I’d be really glad to know.

Mary

A Moodscope member