A friend of mine, Jenny, has a friend whose name is Fag-ash Lil.

Now, Fag-ash Lil isn't the kind of friend you'd really want in your life, because she's really negative. Just last week she was in the kitchen, leaning against the table as Jenny prepared for a presentation she was due to make the following day.

"I don't know why you bother, you know. Nobody wants to listen to you." she said, lighting up, even though Jenny hates people smoking in her house. Lil inhaled, blew a stream of smoke straight into Jenny's face, examined her nails and ran a hand through her straw-like hair. "What you've got to say is just completely irrelevant, you know? If I were you I'd just give up right now." And she went on and on and on in the same vein, making it really difficult for Jenny to concentrate.

Now you'd think that Jenny would banish this obnoxious person from her house, wouldn't you? But that's a bit tricky, because Fag Ash Lil lives inside Jenny's head; she's one of the voices.

We all have voices. We make jokes about it, don't we? "The voices in my head told me to do it." "You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me!"

But when was the last time the voices said "Hey – great job there: really well done. No – I mean it; you were awesome! Oh, and by the way, you're looking pretty hot too!"

That would be never, right?

The reason I know about Fag-ash Lil is that Jenny has told me about her. By visualising Lil, creating a slightly ridiculous persona for her, Jenny has reduced her power. As soon as Lil starts, Jenny can look her straight in the eye, say "Thanks for sharing, Lil. I'm going to ignore you now, OK?"

Now, Lil doesn't shut up; she's very persistent, but she has a lot less power around Jenny's life. She doesn't stop that presentation being written and delivered; she doesn't get in the way much at all now. Oh she used to, but now she's not lurking in the shadows whispering her poison, Jenny can laugh at her.

Lil absolutely hates that.

Mary

A Moodscope member.