We often describe who we are in terms of the roles we have, our actions and reactions, our successes and what we see as failures. It is easy to relate strongly to an outcome that has resulted in surprisingly damaging results and we actually become that ‘wrong’ decision.

The guilt and frustration people feel when they make what they consider as an error grows until it becomes a big part of their personalities. We name our ‘bad’ decisions by calling ourselves hopeless at making decisions.

When I was 16 and recently diagnosed with manic depression as bipolar was then called; I was confused in a world of stigma and ignorance so for next 16 years I refused medication, my life veered from one catastrophe to another all based on my irrational impulsive decisions.

Most decisions occur in a context, so naming them right or wrong is not useful and can be harmful. The things we decide add to our development and are an important part of our life, but if they are based on impulsive actions, others can judge us by our past decisions.

There is advice that you can stop becoming what you decided by realising that a ‘bad decision’ was just an occurrence, and next time you may try to behave in a different way.

Try to consider the circumstances that lead to a certain decision from a thoughtful, rather than an irrational standpoint. Try to work out why you made the selections you did - stop feeling guilty, try to try again. Simply believe that you are not a shameful person and you are not your decisions; you are only human. Do you believe that? I find it hard to believe when we are often judged by others for past decisions.

So how does one move forward when others want to punish you for the past?

Maybe you have people who forgive your poor decisions? How did this feel and can you forgive yourself.

Leah 

A Moodscope member