Gary's blog of the 31st of January reminds me of my sister's treatment of me and how she has pigeon-holed me as the 'mentally ill' one in the family.

The lack of love between us was apparent on Sunday when we went to a family baby shower. There were lots of hugs but none from my sister.

A few years ago, after a blazing row where she threw me out of our parents' holiday cottage in the middle of the night (in which I had to drive my children home) she accused me of being mentally ill, and without friends.

Two years ago, at the end of lockdown for my 50th birthday, I invited my sister and her husband to my 50th birthday party. It was when we were only allowed up to 30 people at a gathering. It was hard to restrict to 30 but as my back garden is small, I was limited in any case. My sister walked in to see all my friends (my real family) around me. They saw the value of me regardless of whether I suffered from a mental health problem.

They didn't condemn me nor see me as deficient. They also didn't punish me, or attempt to hurt me.

I am very lucky. I make friends wherever I go. I have so many good friends who care about me, enjoy my company and think I am funny.

However, the pain of having a sister who has said those things is hard to bear. I love her as my little sister, but I don't like her behaviour towards me. It is patronising and deeply hurtful and unnecessary.

One day I may forgive her. I don't actually know because I think when my mum dies, I probably won't ever see her again or once a year as is currently the case.

I am low at the moment. It's been a long winter for many of us. The news is bleak I have been cold a lot.

But it's spring. Maybe one day rifts will heal? I don't know.

BrumMum

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