“The natural flights of the human mind are not from pleasure to pleasure, but from hope to hope.” Samuel Johnson.

I am finding it hard to find much hope right now.

As I write, the second big storm in two weeks is raging. Storm Francis is battering the country.

For all the talk of a vaccine, Covid cases are rising. A friend in Germany was talking of coming over for a visit, but the cases there are rising faster there. At any time, Germany could be added to the quarantine risk. I am desperately disappointed.

All over the world, our political leaders are focussed on economic recovery. The green agenda is going out of the window in favour of short-term gains. Global warming and climate change will accelerate.

I cannot think but that the emphasis is on the immediate comfort of humanity, at the expense of its future.

So, no – I am despondent, and I cannot see much hope.

Then, being of an analytical nature, I begin to look at just why these feelings are so strong.

Is it that I have paying too much attention to the news? I knew that, for the sake of my mental health, I cannot pay too much attention to the news: it is only bad news that is ever reported (Sir Tom being the exception).

Is it that I know I will miss my daughter when she goes off to university? It’s only a couple of weeks away now, and the wrench will be hard for both her and for her father and me.

Is it the realisation that this weekend I would have been meeting up in the Peak District with a group of friends from all over the world? That reunion has been cancelled too; or at least postponed indefinitely

Is it that my business has not yet recovered from the lock-down and the bank account looks very lean?

Perhaps it is only because I came home from a visit to Scotland with a stomach bug and my system is still not right. It’s hard to feel hope when your tummy is wobbly.

All these things are personal, and I have some control over them.

I can switch off the news. I am happier without all that negativity.

I can concentrate on the fun university life will bring to my gregarious, hard-working, fun-loving daughter and how her younger sister will blossom in the additional attention she will receive.

The group of friends who would have been meeting this weekend have been holding regular zoom meetings. It is not the same, but we have had fun together and maybe grown even closer than we would have done in one weekend.

I can plan a strategy for the business and work hard to implement it.

Tomorrow, my stomach will be better.

I believe I will find my hope again: I just need to clear away the obstacles that obscure it. Hopefully, hope will come home to me.

Mary

A Moodscope member.