A few weeks ago I embarked on a new part of my current journey. I attended a short course for people who are in my current situation. It was an amazing experience as I met seven other people, all of whom are in a similar situation, going through similar struggles and facing similar challenges. All of us had in common the fact that for many years we have all felt incredibly isolated.
As the course progressed the bonding of the group intensified. Being able to talk freely without fear of judgement and to know that there was such a depth of understanding was a profound experience. Without exception, this was the first time we had shared our stories with other people (outside of a counselling room). It was emotional, empowering, and validating.
Leaving the course and returning to reality felt daunting. I was wobbly for a little while after. I felt exposed and vulnerable, having shared my deepest thoughts, insecurities, my secrets. Going our separate ways felt like the protective bubble we had been in had been burst. Yet the truth was, these people now belonged in my life and were a part of my reality. We had formed a new support network that we could turn to when needed.
Some of us met again the other day. And just the sight of each other caused the tears in each of us to flow. I woke up the following morning and sat in my new friends garden. It was raining (I don't do rain!) and it felt magical. As I took in the beauty of the flowers, the sound of the rain, the feeling of the water, the smell of the garden I had an overwhelming sense of peace. A heavy burden is being lifted through the sharing of our lives and the learning we are encountering. The difference in each of us, in just a few short weeks was staggering.
We are all at different stages, facing difficult decisions but the one thing we are all doing, for the first time in a very long time, is focusing on nurturing ourselves. It is never too late to start that. I am so thankful for finding the courage to push past my fear and showing my vulnerabilities. I have found my voice and I no longer feel constrained by being alone.
This world is a very big place and somewhere out there is someone else who knows exactly where you are at. None of us are ever truly alone.
A Moodscope member.