I am so tired of the virus that has changed the world. Tired of talking about it and hearing about it and worried about it. I was raised in a religious home where the topic of "the end of the world," came up frequently and now my aged Mennonite parents are saying:"this is it." 

When you hear something over and over one of two things happens, according to my experiences. A) you become desensitized to the topic and it no longer has the affect it once had. B) You become hyper sensitive and react more and more because of the emotions that are escalating. Lucky me, I have cycled between both.

The end has been near all my life and I am pushing 45. It has grown old and if it is true that the world is rapidly wrapping up all I have to stipulate is:"make it quick." That is also my only wish for my own demise when the time comes..."make it quick." I don't do suffering well although I am working on treating every life experience as exactly that. An experience. 

The dreadful virus that is so contagious does not present a quick experience however. It has been said to be a physically painful, slow and breath-depriving way to die. No thank you. 

Mennonites also believe strongly that when your own pre-determined time is up there is no amount of prevention that will withstand that certain, inevitable timing. Even to the point of suicide, you won't succeed unless it is "your time." That is the belief. To each his own. 

There is a corona burnout happening to people it seems. Since we can no longer simply do what we would have done without extra steps and precautions or just a plain prohibit, one grows weary. Activities are more tiring than usual. 

Social distancing seems an excuse for rudeness. I have no issue with staying 60 feet back where a recent ex is concerned, but what I meant was where a granny ahead in line shoots a leather clad lady biker a dirty look and says:"can we distance here?" That looked alot more to me like passing judgment and I am plenty fatigued of that too. 

So to deal with this pandemic I pray alot more than I ever did. Some wise person once said:"pray to God but row to shore." (Please insert your own idea of who or what you pray to here). 

Plato said it even better:"Be kind. For everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." Especially now. 

Bailey

A Moodscope member.