I use to think that this was the most frustrating concept. It would make me very angry to think that I was "supposed to" just turn my life into whatever I wanted it to be and if I couldn't figure out how to do that despite anxiety and depression, then it was entirely my fault. I was responsible for not creating the life I want.

Then slowly, after reading a book that inspired me, I started shifting my focus to small daily actions that I could take to get closer to how I wanted to feel.

It was worth it. I cannot help but feel a bit frightened and amazed by how far I've come. (And it's not just a metaphorical distance, I have moved from Canada to the UK!) I've gone through a lot of changes and I have had to deal with so much stress that it actually felt worse for a while, but somehow, most of the time I knew I was on the right track. When I lost sight of where I was or what I was doing, I just remembered how I wanted to feel.

These days, I'm happy. I still have mood swings, I still don't want to get out of the house most of the time. I'm still dealing with a lot of the same ingredients I had back before I started making the changes. The difference is how I choose to integrate them in to my reality.

I guess my message is: you can do it. No matter how small the actions you take to walk the path of how you wish to feel in your life, I believe that it does make a difference. Remember that it takes time. I have used my restrictions and my strengths to create a life that resembles me and no matter how much other people disagree with me, it feels so much better when I'm not trying to be them.

Alicia

A Moodscope User