Several years ago, I wrote a blog about me talking to my inner critic. I have always struggled with the critical voice and how I sometimes let it dominate my thoughts.
In the self-help literature, there seem to be more self-development coaches than counsellors. I saw an exercise where primary aged children were encouraged to write down the critics talk and what a coach would say. I tried to write 2 columns but couldn’t do it, my inner critic said how hopeless I was on a simple format, while my coach said I tried it and may be just talk about critic and coach separately!!
My critic will say I am lazy, I never finish anything.
My coach says I try new things and sometimes I need to rest. That is self-care.
My critic says I always make mistakes and mess things up.
My coach says Ok you tried and you made a mistake. What will you do now?
My critic says I am messy, untidy, and disorganised.
My coach says you are creative and sometimes you need to be disorganised so you can be expressive.
These are just examples from my life, I have not included the very hurtful things I have said. Instead of trying to argue with my inner critic, I like to think of what my inner coach would say.
Can you think of examples of what your critic has said and what a coach would say.
Maybe you don’t have an inner critic and you could share how that works. I do struggle with negative self-talk but I am trying. I read one needs patience, practice and persistence to stop negative talk. What helps you eliminate or lessen the negative self talk?