For those of you who don’t know, I have a part time job at Sainsbury’s. I check the dates on what’s called “Long Life,” that is eggs, bacon, yoghurts, milk and cream, cooked meats, soups, olives and cheese. To these refrigerated items is added cakes. I work from 4pm – 10pm on Mondays and Thursdays and 4pm – 8pm on Tuesdays and Fridays. Unlike the rest of the cold section, which is checked every day and prices reduced only for the next day, Long Life products are checked twice a week and reduced for the three or four days coming.

Sometimes I miss things. In fact, it’s almost impossible not to miss a couple of things each time I go round. We’re working so fast and sometimes things that should be reduced are hidden behind items that are well in date. Usually, though, it’s just one or two things, so when yesterday I discovered six out of date yoghurts, I was initially furious with myself. Then I found two lots of meat that were out of date. I had obviously missed more than usual the last time I checked.

Then I remembered that last Thursday I was battling a migraine. I had taken some paracetamol, but the fuzziness and stabbing pain was still there. It wasn’t a full-blown migraine – one of those would leave me with no option but to call my husband to fetch me and to go home to bed, but it was more than enough to compromise my performance.

So, I decided to cut myself some slack. I hadn’t been functioning well, and it was unsurprising that I had missed some things. It was forgivable.

I think we very often hold ourselves up to a high standard that it may be impossible to reach, or at least impossible to reach all the time. Those high standards may be simply the state of our house or garden. It may be keeping up friendships by phoning people and arranging to meet. It may be conversations we have had that didn’t go well, when there was little likelihood that they ever would go well. It may be anything. And how often are we in the right state to reach those high standards anyway? We may be ill or tired or simply overwhelmed by other things.

There are lots of standards I have decided not to hold myself to. As long as the kitchen is clean, does it really matter about a bit of dust? I would rather my house held a warm welcome for visitors than was a show home. 

Something I am working on forgiving myself for is all the times I open my mouth and say something tactless that really doesn’t help anyone at all. Nobody can be tactful all the time.

What areas do you hold yourself to a higher standard than is reasonable? Do you find it easy to forgive yourself and accept that a lower standard is okay? And do you think your high standards are important to anyone else?

Mary

A Moodscope member