How to say ‘No’, when I often say ‘Yes’ to something I really don’t want to do?

I am a people-pleaser! There, I’ve said it and I think those of you who kinda ‘know me’ here, know that I am and that I have struggled to say no on many an occasion!

I’d get someone sidling up to me in church, with a big grin, and I learned to dread seeing her in my peripheral vision… knowing she was going to ask me (tell me, more like) what I could do on such and such a day… and I’d be struggling to think of a reason to say no!

I live in a different village now - but I still get caught doing things that I don’t always want to do; thankfully, most of the time it is for charities, so it makes me feel better for having said yes, but there are many times, I look around at others who are full of suggestions, but they won’t get off their backsides to physically do anything!  Same people say yes!

I did learn from a friend that I should ‘Say yes, to the boss, but tell him I won’t be able to do that for another couple of weeks…’. That actually worked and he ‘put upon’ somebody else for a change.

I think it is too easy for people to ‘see’ who the hard worker is, who will keep taking on more and more, so they keep piling it on.

How do we say ‘No, thank you for asking, but I can’t…’ without having to go in to reasons why not and without coming across as rude?

Love and Bear hugs x x x

Bearofliddlebrain

A Moodscope member