I’ve been away for a long time and recognise some familiar names here. I’ve changed my name from Ali to Alianco since subscribing.

Overall, I’ve been well. I’ve had some psychological dips, but none long enough to suggest IT (my name for my negative symptomology) was fully back. My Moodscope score was 81% back in 2021; today it’s 34%. A month ago, I suspect it would have been closer to my lowest ever score of 11%.

Right now, I feel like I’m plodding around the edges of the dark pit — unmotivated, low energy, grey — but thankfully not falling into full depression. I still have the ability to notice beauty, colour and joy around me, and I’m holding onto that.

IT is the term I use for the cluster of symptoms variously labelled Major Depressive Disorder, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and mild Fibromyalgia. Labels may change, but the experience is familiar.

For me, 20mg Escitalopram keeps symptoms controlled. Since first taking an SSRI in 1997 and feeling like a switch had been flipped, I’ve learned that whenever I’ve weaned off, symptoms eventually return. After a severe episode in 2018, I decided to remain on SSRIs unless research offers a better alternative.

Moodscope has been invaluable for tracking patterns. Previously, I discovered that one particular brand of Escitalopram coincided with lower mood scores. I informed my pharmacist at the time and forgot about it.

Recently, after a delayed prescription and an extremely demanding period caring for family (including supporting my sister’s medical retirement, caring for another sister with Alzheimer’s, helping my elderly parents, and fracturing my heel), my mood dropped significantly. Everyone attributed it to stress — and I started to believe that.

Then I checked my records. The same brand of Escitalopram that previously correlated with low scores had been prescribed again after I changed pharmacies. I’ll be requesting a different brand and expect to see an improvement.

Has anyone else noticed differences between brands of their SSRI? Or found that low mood blamed on stress actually related to medication effectiveness?

Love and Light,

Alianco
A Moodscope member