I am writing this after CMM and Mary have recently written blogs on friendship. I do have friends and a loving family, but I seem to find myself detached from them.

I enjoy walking my dog with a friend and her dog most Monday mornings and we stop to have coffee together. We are good friends, but would hardly see each other outside of our regular walks.

Years ago I had a good friend in our town, but she now lives on the other side of the world and, for some reason, we rarely communicate.

My school friend from the 70s is only an hours drive away - except it involves going on the M25 😩 but we only meet 2 or 3 times a year and, again, rarely make phone calls or even text.

I go to two coffee meetings a week, and the ladies I meet up with are all lovely people, but I do not visit their houses individually, though I'm sure I’d be made welcome.

I’m of the type of thinking that I would not dream of disturbing people in their home and I never seem to have time to invite people here. I have made a friend in the last year or so who comes round fairly regularly, she is more my daughter’s age and her son loves to come and spend time with our cat and dog.

Anyway, what I have come to realise is that I feel detached from people, to a certain extent. I look at other people and think I see a certain connectedness.  I might see a person walking along, deep in conversation on their mobile phone. I very rarely get calls on my mobile, the last message I got was from the vet saying that my dog food was ready to collect.

I have occasionally considered trying to find someone who might be housebound or far away from family, to go and visit to offer company, but then I talk myself out of it because there seems too much to fit into a day to make another commitment. I have a lovely husband and we suit each other well. In the afternoon we make a pot of tea and then go and sit in the sunroom for a bit. I rarely feel like inviting anyone in to join us at that time of day.

We moved into our cul-de-sac of 6 houses between lockdowns and so, although we have met all our neighbours, we don’t socially interact with them. We missed the times they sat in “socially distanced” deckchairs in the cul-de-sac, during the warm weather, because we moved in September 2020.

So I do feel part of a community in our village, but I still mostly hang in the background rather than really bond with people. 

Do others experience this kind of detachment? I get a knot in my stomach just thinking about talking to you about it.

I am glad to be part of the Moodscope community. Take care all.

Love,  

Another Sally xx

A Moodscope member