I think it's time for a detox and not just alcohol. I've read with interest about toxic people and how you can identify their behaviour. Eliminating toxins sounds quite harsh when you talk about people but can you recognise any of these... I've had some in my life and some I can't quite get rid of.

The family member that can never quite be happy for your successes and makes you feel like you are stuck right back "there" (the there where you don't want to be any more). You can go back into the mode that you were and it's almost what they expect from you so either wittingly or unwittingly, you find yourself reverting to type... the type they expect from you even though you know you are doing it.

You unsettle them because you change and they can't cope with the change so if they are really awful, they find your "Achilles heel" and they go for it. I'm one of the most defensive people on the planet because all I ever had for a while was myself to defend myself.

I was talked over as a young girl at the family dinner table. The men were more important and what they had to say and football was the order of the day. Perhaps that's why I hate football talk and the Grandstand theme to this day. I remember at a dinner party being asked by a stranger what I did and when I replied that I was a secretary his eyes glazed over and he proceeded to talk over my head to the bloke next to me!!

I remember the friend who said "Oh are you still a secretary" and berating me because I hadn't at that time managed to get out of that role... (the one who got gifted a house by her parents and then married a rich man and dropped out of training to be a chartered accountant – she got the certified instead – as she thought she was entitled to a life of ease!). Another friend who was gifted a house (again!) and her stock phrase was "It's alright for some"...!!

You know how I ended up realising it – I asked myself how I felt after I'd seen them. Always sh*t about my life, feeling sorry for myself, feeling small, worthless and envying them for what they had rather than realising what I did have myself that they would never have. Those people never want to give you a leg up if you are falling... they want you down there, not successful, not growing. So I said yes to a detox and the friendships gladly went to the wall. They may have changed or maybe not, but I have and I won't put up with it any more.

What do you want to detox from your life? Have you done it and how did you feel? Are you still wanting to do it? Have you identified the toxins? Remember this. YOU DESERVE BETTER.

Liz

A Moodscope member.