Many years ago, when I was single after many unhappy relationships, I met a kind man. For six weeks we got on well, but I kept feeling it would end so when an old bad boy contacted me, I decided to meet him as I rationalised that things always end badly so why wait, I will mess things up myself. I would stop the worrying by self-sabotaging.
I was high at the time, so it affected my thinking. I have self-sabotaged since when I was stable. Of course, the relationship ended and I felt guilty, but at least that sense of not knowing was over.
We can sabotage relationships, work, decisions, friendships, career and education.
Why do we do this, is it lack self-esteem, is it fear of things ending badly so we make sure they do?
Is it because we are high, low, anxious or in another mood or mindset that affects our ability to think?
For me, especially in relationships I do not feel I deserve to be happy and if I were happy, I would worry all the time as I know it would not last.
If you have ever self-sabotaged, how did you do it, and how did it make you feel?
A Moodscope member.