When dealing with self-esteem, we all have an enemy who is not on our side, who is a devastating adversary.
Who? Ourselves. Yourself.
If you're really honest with yourself, how many of you recognise that you search for evidence that you are nobody, that you don't deserve to be loved, that you're not living up to your highest potential on an almost daily basis?
Be careful! Your mind can be a very convincing liar! I know because mine does it to me all the time & like the vulnerable fool I can be, I fall for it. Again. And again.
"Don't believe everything you think," says Allan Lokos. And that's true. This is the amygdala, part of our brain, which is firing off all over the place, it’s character and task to be on constant red alert looking out for danger even where there isn't any danger to be found. I suspect that what it doesn’t find it just makes up because it really does have a NEED to do its job of being our protector. I'm sure I'm not alone in wishing that it wouldn't do that. Flag up real dangers so that I can protect myself, yes, but please don’t just go and make stuff up! That’s like the thing I used to laughingly say when younger: “I don’t need any enemies. I can do perfectly well by myself”.
You have to try and remember, as Jon Kabat-Zinn says, "Until you stop breathing, there's more right with you than wrong with you."
If you could - if we ALL could - focus on progress rather than on perfection and on how far you've come rather than on how far you have left to go - after all, as a growing, developing, changing human being we are a continual work in progress - you would find yourself looking with completely different glasses.
Working towards your goals and being willing to put yourself 'out there' are major accomplishments in themselves, regardless of how many times you fall over. What's important is how many times you get up, dust yourself off and try again.
And if you can do that without cynicism or self-criticism, then you are already winning.
"We can't hate ourselves into a version of ourselves we can love," says Lori Deschene and how right she is!
My current active affirmation is: "You are enough just as you are." As someone who has always believed I had to 'earn' any positive response or feeling, this is a revolutionary thought!
So, go! Be revolutionary today! AND tomorrow. And the next lot of tomorrows until … finally … you believe!
A Moodscope member.
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