I don't live close to my family. One of those things. We all become more mobile, the world shrinks and distances grow.

Alice, she drank from a bottle called DRINK ME

And she grew so tall

She ate from a plate called TASTE ME

And down she shrank so small

And so she changed, while other folks

Never tried nothin' at all.

Shel Silverstein

I'm actually quite family orientated and this year I have had visits from both my offspring (and their families), I live in a seaside resort, so my home is their hols! I used to think they came to visit me and of course it is an element. But I found myself this year feeling used rather than loved and dreading next year and the next set of visits.

And it actually wasn't their fault. It should have been a great pick me up for me, as well as for them but it didn't workout like that. I was too tired, too solitary, too sad to properly respond. I let them down.

It is hard to put one's life on hold while family visit. OK, I may not have much of a life, but there is that dreadful assumption that you exist purely for your children and their convenience. I am expected to be on Nanna duty when they arrive from the time the kids wake until they go to bed. 'Oh so nice mum to be able to get away from it all and relax for once'. Great to be appreciated. They do work hard, they do need a break and the little ones demand energy! But I am not sure I am up to it anymore. I feel like going on strike!

They talked about a holiday home abroad we could all go to next year, but once looked into it was all too expensive. What a shame! I would have loved that. How nice it would have been. But they prefer to come to me. After all it's a homecoming for them. They love it.

They know how I am. They are supportive but not totally empathetic. They want me to be well and believe that they and the grandchildren are the solution to my problem. And they are supportive by phone. So why can't I cope with them being here?

Alice

A Moodscope member