My last blog ended by asking why I was so unhappy in 1977? (Going through diaries, articles, photos and Internet for history by decades.) The answer from replies was that nobody was going to be happy trying to keep afloat in such a turbulent sea. Survival was the name of the game.

I also reckoned no psychiatrist could have made any sense of the muddle. Now, another question. If I could have found a crystal ball reader who could actually foretell the future he/she would have said: ‘You are going to go through another terrible five years, then your life is going to encompass situations that you would never have thought of, trained for, even imagined’. I would have asked if we could skip the five years and ‘fast forward’ to this mythical future.

Financially things got worse, no crops made the cost of production. There was a world recession in 1981. Mr G DID suffer burn out, I kept the boat afloat, not very well, no training, no experience, until son, followed by daughter could take the baton; they did, and youth, energy and brilliant ideas led to success. The Midland Bank lent us more and more money, then, in early 1982, wanted it all back. They had got involved with the Crocker Bank in the US, which got into trouble, and the Midland tried to help their cash flow by calling in overdrafts from small businesses. I threatened to expose them, they had given me a scholarship, I wrote for their magazine, and making us and others bankrupt would not help anybody.

The ‘fast forward’ is to the 1997 diary. The word ‘tired’ is hardly mentioned. But, film-like, flashbacks. Mr G became employed. Lots of responsibility but no stress, and security! (What’s that?) He had a salary, a pension, holidays, week-ends off. I had a Nuffield Scholarship in 1978 to study Agricultural Co-operation in France and Italy, We had a half-term  holiday with youngest child in 1981. We had no money, so we bought a house in France. In half an hour we had a French bank, a French mortgage and a gas stove. I did a BA and an MA. We went to St Barthelemy (picture) enamoured of the Caribbean. Then our second son went to work in Indonesia, so we turned our compass point East.

In 1991 we went to France, intention, to prepare the French house for retirement. But, we saw another house for sale, curious, visited it, bought it. An insurance policy matured at twice its stated value, bought the house outright. Yet another crisis in UK, Mr G’s company offered him early retirement, a year’s salary, pension paid straightaway, would he accept? You bet.

By 1997 we had six grandchildren, who visited at every opportunity. I had become a historian, with Mr G we gave lectures, put on exhibitions. We helped with the music festival (neither of us musical). Our garden was visited, we had huge parties.  Are you careful, sensible, weigh up the pros and cons? Or take a deep breath and jump in? 

The Gardener

A Moodscope member