Feeling like a fraud

28 Nov 2019

Have you ever felt you don't belong? Have you ever thought everyone else knows what they are doing, except you? Are you worried someone will find out you are just faking? Do you have a voice in your head, your inner critic saying you are not worthy, you shouldn't have your new job, your new baby, your partner?

You may be in a new job, you may be in a new relationship, you may have a new role as wife /husband, or you may have moved to a new place and everything seems fine. Other people would say you are coping, you seem happy and you keep smiling.

Inside you feel you don't belong; you feel like a fraud and it is just a matter of time till someone finds out how incredibly hopeless you are.

I wonder if you can relate to this behaviour and if you recognise it in yourself. Feeling like a fraud can be common at the start of a new job or career but can happen at any stage of life.

Some people have an impractical idea of what an achievement is, and impossible expectations, so they will feel let down when they can't reach these goals.

There are those people who have insecurity, lack confidence because they never think they are ever good enough.

Feeling like a fraud can happen in relationships and not just in workplaces.

I remember when I was a new mum, I thought one day someone would work out I had little idea of what I was doing with a new baby. I had everyone fooled but I knew the truth.

Have you ever worried that if someone gets close and really gets to know the real you, they will not like you.?

Do you listen to any criticism, but do not believe any positive feedback?

I wrote a blog years ago about my inner critic and I think it is the inner critic who makes me feel insecure and as if I don't belong.

How do you stop feeling like a fraud and try to believe in ourselves as others believe in us?

I am interested in what you think.

Have you ever felt like a fraud, or a fake?

What were the circumstances, and how did you cope?


A Moodscope member

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