Feelings - express or hide?

22 Apr 2021

When my mum died after ten years of suffering with dementia, I felt I had cried all my tears for, grieved for her during that time so I had no more feelings left to express. At the funeral I did not cry or show emotion and some family members thought I was cold. At the time I did not realise I was hiding my feelings, I suppose I felt so emotionally drained I had nothing left to express.

About 6 months later in the frozen aisle of a supermarket I started crying and could not stop. I had no idea why at that moment my body chose to express the tears I had buried.


Dealing with strong emotions can be hard when we are experiencing chaotic, sad, experiences in our lives. Sometimes it feels like we have only two options for coping with our feelings, so they do not consume us. We may show our feelings, or we may keep our emotions hidden deep inside. Or like me, I did not feel I was making a choice at all.

Many make the second choice, surpressing feelings to deny them. Acknowledging your feelings is one way help to better understand them and help you recover naturally from change, stress, and grief. Sometimes one feels so much pain that denying ones feeling seems the only plan and you feel you have no choice because acknowledging would be too much pain to handle. Even just accepting and speaking feelings out loud to yourself can sometimes be healing. Burying uncomfortable feelings can numb the pain, but it may dull the chance express other feelings.


Has there been a time in your life you have denied your feelings? Did It help in anyway? Did you find later that expressing your feelings may have helped.


A Moodscope member.

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