We have some friends who have been part of our life since, ooh, 1981 at least. Jane met him first; they were work colleagues and they bonded over a book they both love.

It might easily have been a year before we met her. He never spoke of her, although he and other friends were often at our house.

We met her one Saturday afternoon; I was just about to serve up some food for everyone, when there was a knock o the front door. I answered it. she stood there. I said ‘Hello; can I help you?’ She said ‘I’m Pete’s wife; Yolanda.’ And she made a move to come inside the house. I blocked her. ‘Pete has never mentioned having a wife’ I told her. She was nonchalant ‘We lead pretty independent lives….look can I come in or what?’

I let her inside; Pete barely even acknowledged her. I offered her food; drink. She refused all saying ‘I never eat or drink in public’ and instead, got out a packet of cigarettes and a lighter. I ushered her outside through the back door. She left the door open allowing cigarette smoke to waft in.

Somehow I think that first meeting should have warned me to Stay Away. But instead, Yolanda and Pete are still ‘friends.’

When Jane was dying, they wanted to come to see her. It is a 5 hour drive, but they would come for the day. Yolanda said ‘Of course if she is dead by then we won’t bother coming.’ I reminded her I would still be here. She said ‘oh; yes…ok we’ll still come.’

When Jane died, I told them. Yolanda said ‘What? Already? She wasn’t that ill when we saw here a week or so back. Not even very yellow.’ I reminded her of the numerous secondary cancers. ‘Oh, secondaries’ said Yolanda.

They have been to see me this week. They stayed overnight – not with me, thank goodness – in an Airbnb. Immediately after arriving, Yolanda busied herself looking around my home. She looked in the bathroom… checking the toilet; she checked the kitchen… my bedroom – sniffed the bedclothes. Then she sniffed me. She announced: ‘You seem to be coping better than I expected. Your house is clean and tidy and doesn’t smell of dog and your personal care seems to be adequate.’

I want to share with you, dear Moodscopers, that I feel this experience has allowed me to grow as a person; I laughed at her and did not pull off her head which was my initial reaction!

Do you have ‘friends’ you wonder about? Or is it just me? Jane was godmother to their daughter; and I was godmother to their son. He was so unpleasant, I fulfilled my obligations until he was 21 years old then I sent him a letter divorcing myself from him and his rudeness.

Since then, he has become quite a sensible young man and we get on really well.

People eh? You just never know.

CMM

A Moodscope member