As we dig deeper each day into the depths of Good Mental Health, a clear message is emerging – that 'Character' counts.  As we develop strength in the areas of humility, generosity, compassion, empathy, sympathy, kindness, gentleness, tolerance, forgiveness, and impartiality – we feel progressively better; we feel good as we think well of others, and do good.

 Thus, today, I’d ask you to join me on my personal journey to more emotional stability and maturity, and have a good belly laugh at my expense!

Every time I’m tempted to think I’m becoming an evolved being, something (thankfully) punctures my pomposity!  The other evening, after a fruitful but tiring day, I made my way up to the local store to get a ‘reward’ for being a good boy.  When I’m tired, I’m about as gracious as a tired toddler!  (Ask Penny.)

Just as I was about to cross the road, very low on energy, somebody pulled up to block my pedestrian access.  I was instantly in ‘Muttley Mode’ (see https://youtu.be/YMQnk4rQzyE for an idea of Muttley when he is complaining and you’ll get it!)

I turned round to see who this ‘inconsiderate’ was!  It was ‘M’ who is not only a very attractive, charming character, but also very beautiful.  A mature woman now, I could imagine she was the most popular girl in school.  Instantly, I was transformed.  I probably pulled in my generous gut, put on my posh voice, and chatted away to her.  She makes you feel good to be around.

Now, I have a challenge.  One of the steps towards becoming more emotionally mature is learning to listen to your Inner Counsellor.  It’s like having Deanna Troi in my head (For those who don’t know Troi - https://youtu.be/6dG5exXwzpM - here’s a link.  She’s an Empath and annoyingly good at it.)

My Inner Counsellor, whose counsel is not always welcome, said, “I bet you’d behave differently if it was (anon) who’d blocked your way!”  I was a bit miffed ‘cos the voice in my thoughts was absolutely correct (as always.)

In that moment, I realised how massively partial I was in my judgments of others.  If someone I don’t like lies to me they are a ‘Liar!’ but if I lie, that’s OK because it’s ‘complicated’.  If ‘M’ inconveniences me, it’s OK because she’s lovely; if someone I don’t like inconveniences me, it’s because they are being deliberately nasty.

I had to laugh at myself, and I hope you will laugh at me too.  Pompous twit!  The Counsellor’s challenge was for me to extend the same grace in every place to everyone I meet… and not to make it based on their perceived value or usefulness to me.

This ‘truth’ was immensely freeing and I was immediately rehearsing in my imagination how I could be more gracious to some people who seem especially gifted in hitting my hot buttons!

Don’t worry though, I’m still a pompous git.

Lex

A Moodscope member