I’ve come away for an amazing holiday. With my two daughters and their boyfriends. In Mallorca. In a villa surrounded by mountains. A private pool no more than 20 yards away. But don’t get too jealous as it has been thunderstorms and rain since we got here two days ago. And now Palma airport has shut and so my girlfriend has been on the phone in tears as she cannot get over here. Not quite what I had in mind when I organised it or every time I thought about it over the last few weeks.

All of this led me to the sofa where my anxiety started screaming at me that I am a failure. I tried to organise a nice sunny holiday but I failed. I am not going to get the rest that I so desperately need and so will return to work as tired as I left it. My daughters will fall out with their boyfriends as there isn’t much to do when it rains. I won’t see Sara, my wonderful kind girlfriend. The holiday doom spiral gathers speed.

So, as I often do when my anxiety starts to flare, I meditated for 20 minutes. Once finished I had come to some new conclusions. The real problem was my fixed idea of what this holiday would be. Beautiful weather, total relaxation, fun activities, lovely family photos, non stop joy. But in the past I have found that when my expectations are fixed the likelihood is that there will be disappointment as they depend on a number of factors (weather, logistics, Palma airport traffic control) over which I have no sway. The list of things I can control is pretty much limited to what I choose to put on my toast in the morning. So what I have really failed to do is accept this lack of control. I can be disappointed, that is fine, but I should not blame myself or indeed see myself as a failure as that is just plainly not true. I have organised a holiday in Mallorca. Once I shed this idea of “failure” I realised that the weather will get better, I will relax, there will be some fun activities, family photos and some joy. I couldn’t make these happen, I would just have to let them happen.

Mo Gawdat came to the conclusion that happiness = reality - expectation. So once I have reduced my expectation, or who knows maybe even removed it completely, then holiday happiness is sure to be in the pipeline.

So I’m on holiday with my two amazing daughters! On the beautiful island of Mallorca. In a lovely villa, surrounded by beautiful mountains with a pool nearby. And Sara my girlfriend has got another flight landing tonight. How amazing! Expectation removed.

Time to enjoy my holiday.

Piers the vet

A Moodscope member