Healing hurts

9 Mar 2019

So, in the latest episode of Brum Mum's domestic dramas I cut my forefinger when washing a dog food tin out. Ouch it hurt!! A jagged cut with a flap of skin which was now oozing blood.

That was the same day that I got up to find that the dog had pooed all over the living room floor (mercifully mainly on a wooden floor) and then half an hour later I dropped my brand new phone which I had had for four days, and would cost me so much to repair that the upgrade has now been consigned to the back of the drawer. Or was it the day after?

Having survived half term, crawling through the days I had with the kids despite being mentally and physically exhausted, I cannot help but be cheered by this beautiful Spring weather. Yesterday I walked round the chocolate box bit of Brum I live in and marvelled at the first lot of primroses out and enjoyed the warmth of the sun on my face.

But I also considered how, just as my finger was now healing but was still sore, I was beginning to heal from some of the pain I have been facing, but that didn't mean that it was easy. I have indeed blogged before about the searing pain of losing my Dad, and the split with the partner last month, I haven't shared that I had a lovely date lined up for yesterday and then at the last minute he pulled out citing distance as his reason for not turning up.

Now I am resilient enough to know that the abortive potential date was not my fault, although I had built it up in my head and was as excited and nervous as a teenager.

The other painful stuff is stuff we all face at some time: the loss of a dear one, the relationship breakdown and for me currently a messy situation at work that I need to resolve.

This is all tough stuff, but I've won half the battle because I know that and I am trying to deal with it. I have arranged some counselling, taken time off work to re-energise and planned a weekend away with a girlfriend in the summer. WITH NO CHILDREN...

So, as I type this blog with my slightly sore finger, I have come to accept that I can't change some things, I am feeling what I am feeling and I am working to try to make a better future for myself... and that starts today.

I hope that when things hurt you can find some healing too... and the whole point of Moodscope is that we can share those tricky thoughts, those messy situations, that scary stuff which is just too much to bear on our own.


A Moodscope member.

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