Like others, I contribute to this blog in the hope that my words sometimes resonate with other Moodcopers, and somehow make them feel less alone. It's also selfish, in a good way, because expressing ourselves in writing can be cathartic for us all.
In my last post, One for The Men Out There (March 7th), I explained how my reluctance to take anti-depressants prolonged my depression. It made me think.
Without trawling the archives, I couldn't tell you when the one before that appeared. I never intended the gap between my contributions to be so great. But one of the symptoms of my depression was that I felt I had absolutely nothing worth saying.
All the words tumbling out of my mouth sounded the same. It didn't matter where I was, who I was talking to, or the topic of discussion. My preference became to say nothing at all and my comfort zone shrank to the size of my flat.
Ironically, a friend recently said he'd seen nothing from me on Facebook for months. Because of a settings glitch, to friends in my wider world, it looked as though I'd disappeared for a year. I did sometimes wonder why no-one was commenting on the few things I'd said.
As I fell quiet, it was other friend's posts that reminded me the world was still going round. Better still, the daily Moodscope blogs and ever-helpful comments gave me the sense I wasn't on my tod. They helped me believe that I'd feel better one day. Thankfully, I am.
I've found that emerging from depression is a time to cherish. I'm rediscovering the little pleasures in life and truly reconnecting with friends and family. (Incidentally, I've now fixed the Facebook problem and by saying hello to the world once again, got some lovely messages and meeps* back.)
So wherever you're at today, take comfort from the fact that however you're feeling, you're not alone. And if you're not at your best, trust that you will one day, as one Moodscoper so beautifully put it, be 'enjoying life with all its sparkles'.
(*My gorgeous friend bet me I couldn't get the word 'meeps' in to this.)
A Moodscope member.