I thought a lot about ‘Farmer Charlie Retd’s post re potential re-hashing of blogs, and wait to see what the team thinks. However, I have been pretty consistent in scoring cards and annotating graphs over 12 years, and I thought of looking at ‘Highs and Lows’ to see if Highs could be repeated and Lows avoided. As none of mine have been weather forecasts of mania or depression they were all attributable to exterior circumstances. As a generalisation, they covered every circumstance which psychiatrists regard as ‘major’ stress factors.

For the ‘score’, recorded 2,985 times, from 100% to 7%. Last 3 months generally under 50%, often felt ‘depressed’, just three factors – three moves, coping with extreme inefficiency all the time, maddening and stressful: worst weather in living memory (I came for a better climate), and adapting to my very old companions, finding stultifying.

So, facts on ‘High’. 

2024/02/22: 90% ‘very efficient move’.  

2024/02/29: 90% ‘can’t believe I’m here’. Second son with me, first son ‘un-birthday’. 

2023/05/08: 100% (First and only) ‘Well into house clearance, extraordinary day, sold lots, people admiring my possessions’. 

2012/11/10: 94% ‘Just positive, woodman and painter came’. 

2015/01/04: 91%. ‘New house buying to cope with Mr G’s poor sight and Alzheimers going well’.  

2016/11/07: 90% ‘Really high score because I am doing what I want, doing it well, trying to plan surviving worst of Mr G, loads of people in touch (good job I had no idea what next two years would bring). 

2019/08/23:  90% again. ‘Hit ‘calm waters’, life normal and fun. UK for two weddings, still driving’ (Covid to come).

There is no clue of a ‘pattern’ often a ‘one off’.

Now to ‘Lows’. 

2014/07/23: 9% ‘Absolute Nadir, no sleep – Doctor says I MUST have respite. 

2022/02/06: 25% ‘My son died’ (I had already done my scores, low because he was so ill, but he was still alive). 

2024/03/13: 28%. ‘Life just so difficult, weather does affect my mood, sleeping pills stolen. 

2023/11/04: 32%. ‘Had Covid, everything aches, worried about storms, roof, and that second buyer would pull out’. 

2023/11/30: 33% ‘Homily’ said steer clear of stress!!! Bad night, no reply notary. 

2016/04/10 8% ‘Possessiveness so much worse I feel imprisoned’. 

2017/09/17: 8%. ‘Homily’ said ‘get help’, there was no help. 

2024/04/29:  30% ‘Phobia, two out of three lifts out of action, used 6 flights of stairs, scared of people piling in lifts’.

All these disparate events and Alp-like scores on the graph reveal no patterns, except general low for dark months and lack of sleep. I know a lot people who keep their scores are ‘scared’ because they may be the precursor of an ‘Up’ or ‘Down’. Looking at my own pattern over 12 years I wonder if people can possibly ‘talk’ themselves into presuming Mental Health problems when life is just plain hell or you have had a smashing time.

Avoidance? No hope. Better management at the time? Maybe, I am now watching friends going through some of this lot (house move and care home in particular). Any tools? Advice? 

The Gardener

A Moodscope member