16 Oct 2020

When do we start to feel old, and when do we start to think others are over-the-hill?


We recall people from the past, who seemed old to us then. Now it’s chastening to realise they were maybe 40ish. I described someone as “a really nice lad” the other day. I have known him since his teens, but he must be 50 by now.


I used to read to a lady who was in her late 90’s. Her daughter, mid 70’s and son-in-law in his 80’s had been to stay. I arrived to find her very agitated. They had failed to phone to let her know they had got back home safely.  I said maybe they had just got a bit distracted. She nodded “You’re probably right, young people can be very thoughtless.”


This same lady was besotted with a toy-boy in his late 80’s. They met at a weekly club, and often had coffee afterwards. She invited him to a family party, and was delighted when he accepted. The day before he rang, backing out. The reason he gave was that it was all going a bit too fast for him, he would like to see how things worked out between them.I wonder, did he feel there was still time to play the field a bit before settling down?


I don’t know how to be my age. I don’t fit the stereotype. I don’t consciously try to deny the passing of time, but I feel I am much the same person as I always was. Obviously,I have learned my lessons the hard way, some maturing was much-needed. Of course, my aching  body reminds me every day that I am knocking on a bit. However, I don’t shock easily. I swear quite a lot at home and among certain friends, Sunday nights don’t find me watching Antiques Roadshow, more likely Breaking Bad (again). I read Private Eye, Viz, fashion magazines, not People’s Friend.


I don’t want more bobbies on the beat, just better ones. I don’t think my life is more precious than that of a younger adult. I don’t phone the BBC to complain about nudity or rude words.I must admit though that I am bored to death with the obligatory soft-porn sex scenes that are put into every drama. I find myself thinking “Can’t we just skip this bit and get back to the storyline.” Then again, that’s how I felt about actually having sex, once the hormones fizzled out.


Two young men were very disappointed last year by my jaded, seen-it-all-before attitude. Walking through some shortcuts that lead to the town, they jumped out from behind a garage, and invited me to inspect their penises.I duly gave my expert opinion, and walked off, leaving them looking somewhat sheepish. I don’t recall my exact words, but unflattering comparisons were made with my male Chihuahua/Jack Russell. Much younger women had walked though ahead of me, but probably not, in their eyes, such good victims. And no, I did not report them to the police.


When I had an accident in 2014, I was puzzled when the medics said “You will walk again, you are fit and young”. I thought they were having a laugh, until I got onto the ward. Apart from a young rugger player who broke his hip in a flying tackle, I was the only one under 90. One day the nurse said to the very weak lady next to me “I’ll get you a nice cup of Horlicks”. That did it. People who had never moved, faces turned to the wall, suddenly sprang into life.”Nurse, why can’t I have some Horlicks?”  I tell you, that stuff’s like crack cocaine on some of the wards .


When she was in the psychiatric hospital, my mother used to get given daily glasses of Guinness, Sanatogen tonic wine, and Horlicks. This regime had to be continued at home. I was the “taster” as she thought ground-up glass was being put in her food. The Guinness and wine went down a treat, but I hated Horlicks. I have therefore decided that when I start to ask for a cup of Horlicks instead of strong coffee or red wine, I will give way to Anno Domini.


When, if ever, do you think old age begins?   



A Moodscope member.

Thoughts on the above? Please feel free to post a comment below.

Moodscope members seek to support each other by sharing their experiences through this blog. Posts and comments on the blog are the personal views of Moodscope members, they are for informational purposes only and do not constitute medical advice.

Email us at support@moodscope.com to submit your own blog post!


Login or Sign Up to Comment and Read Comments