I wish I loved the human race;
I wish I loved its silly face;
I wish I liked the way it walks;
I wish I liked the way it talks;
And when I’m introduced to one
I wish I thought What Jolly Fun!

Sir Walter A Raleigh

Most of us are familiar with at least the first two line of this poem. Of how many of us is it true? Do we love the human race as a whole? Do we enjoy meeting new people? Or do we groan inwardly when faced with a whole round of new introductions?

I used to love the human race. I used to think that most people were basically nice. The news, however, has exposed us all to some very unpleasant people who are – unfortunately – in positions of great power. I am now baffled. Is the human race basically well-meaning and altruistic, with good manners and consideration for others? I have my doubts. I see greed, cruelty and intolerance all around.

Working in Sainsburys has exposed me to the kind of people I don’t normally meet. We tend to surround ourselves with people who are like us, so we get confirmation bias. Most people I associate with are nice. When people suddenly show that they have a different raft of values, I am shocked.

I remember one friend of a friend who was telling, with some relish, how she intended to steal a robe from the spa she was going to visit. My respect for that person disappeared instantly. A colleague of mine just doesn’t do her job properly and makes no attempt to do the parts of it she dislikes. I am impatient with her and, although she seems pleasant enough, cannot like her.

I’ve also caught myself making unfavourable judgements on people for minor things. Because I dislike long painted fingernails, strong perfumes and tattoos, I find myself withholding any warmth of potential friendship with a person wearing those things, and even feeling I am superior to them.

The Hostile card says, “Feeling unfriendly towards others.” Well, how many of us feel friendly towards everyone? We don’t greet every stranger as if they were a friend we haven’t yet met.

I think hostile means more - to actively dislike everyone. Certainly, when I am in mania, I despise everyone as they just can’t keep up with me and moreover, keep telling me to slow down! When I’m in depression, I just can’t cope with anyone. I don’t feel hostile because I don’t feel anything at all.

What about you? How would you define hostile? Are you more hostile towards people than you realise, or are you basically as friendly as a golden retriever, unconditionally loving the whole world? Do you judge instantly, or give people the benefit of the doubt?

I try to love my neighbour, and consider the whole world to be that neighbour, but some people make loving very hard.

Perhaps I need to work on that. What about you?

Mary

A Moodscope member