The self-flagellating thoughts scurry through the dark alleys of the mind: Why do I feel so tired? Why haven't I accomplished more today? Why am I so sad? Why...? Dangerous word that.

It creates an immediate and condemnatory glance in our direction. Pressure. Guilt. It's perhaps a sign we are living in our head and not grounded in our bodies. What do we mean by that?

In both Person Centered Counselling and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, if I've been running around my head like a demented hamster on a wheel, joking, talking rapidly, hyper-active, over-thinking, the therapist need ask only five little words: How do you feel now? Silence. Breath in. Hold it. Exhale. Head down. (When we look down we are more able to engage with our feelings.) I'm almost immediately calmer. More in control. Better connected with my body; my feelings.

It's such a simple tool we all have access to and yet, speaking personally, I all too often fail to pause long enough to just glance down and ask myself that simple question: How am I feeling?

It's oh so much kinder than "Why?" So why don't I always do it?

Oops! We're banning "why?" right?