How can things get better?

Acceptance
30 Sep 2023
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We hear sometimes on the news about growth in the economy, and how this seems to be the be all and end all, although logic would suggest that something cannot grow forever. A friend sent me a clip the other day featuring 90plus year olds achieving incredible physical feats, skydiving, marathon running, the works. Luckily she also commented “Dear Lord, when can we STOP? I want to be in a comfy chair with cake when I’m 100 years old”

I looked back over some blogs recently and saw a theme, or possibly two themes… how can each of us experience the world in a better way? And how do we stop ourselves comparing our situation to others, criticising our efforts and punishing ourselves with a fast pace, unrealistic expectations and general dissatisfaction with what we have.

I have been thinking a lot about acceptance. Something that has really gone deep is the idea that I can “agree to accept that a situation IS unacceptable”. It took some thinking about. Initially I thought it was just a play on words, but with time I realised it was something I needed to hear. Some things cannot be altered, they are written into our human mortal lives. We lose things. Worse, we lose people, or even concepts like “health”. So often we ask “why” has this happened to me, now? What have I done to deserve this? Make it stop. 

Some wise words said to me as a young parent “choose your battles wisely, because you haven’t got the energy for them all” might also apply here. The Desiderata, changing what you can, accepting what you can’t, and crucially, knowing the difference, came up in another blog. How do others work this out? Mary realised she could change the Washing Up Glove Size Situation, and thus remove a daily irritant. Noticing things, and being curious about the unconscious stories we tell ourselves (“I have to use the large size for my small hands”) can be hard work – I would often prefer to stay comfortable with my moans – but can lead out of a cul-de-sac to a better place. I’d be interested to hear other what has changed patterns for other Moodscopers.

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