I have thoughts about myself that can be self-defeating, but they are so much a part of how I see myself, I cannot identify them at times.

I have read that some beliefs can be negative and irrational causing self-sabotage and even distress. Sometimes it is self-talk like I am hopeless, I cannot do anything right, I am no good at relationships.

Most people have self-limiting beliefs. You might believe you are introverted and, therefore, unable to go for a promotion or to do something that involves talking to groups. It is a fact about my personal style. I say I am disorganised so I cannot do tasks that involve organisation skills. To me it is a fact. It is part of my personality as someone being introverted.

I have been reading about reversing one’s self-beliefs. So often, we accept our self-limiting beliefs as facts. We think that just because we think or feel something, it must be true. Is that true or a belief?

First you must identify them. This can be hard to do and may need help from someone we trust.

The “I’m not good enough” belief can be affecting how you approach opportunities and challenges - believing your abilities can be developed through challenging work - can help challenge this self-limiting belief. If you believe the idea that you can improve, you will find more courage to question new tasks.

When you believe you are not good enough, it can also affect your personal relationships. You might hold back from expressing your true feelings or needs, fearing rejection. Challenging this belief is hard and needs support.

I was told I was messy and clumsy at school and home, and I find that hard to challenge. My writing is messy, my room untidy and I drop things quite a bit! I never played sports as I have no eye/hand coordination for games involving a ball!!

Do you have a self-defeating belief? Do you believe it or do you challenge it?

If you have a belief about yourself that you feel came from your upbringing is it easy to challenge that thought?

Leah 

A Moodscope member