My counsellor has suggested I show myself the kind of compassion I’m capable of demonstrating to others. Where do we start when asked to show ourselves kindness?

I asked my Research Assistant (i.e. ChatGPT) how to show self-compassion, and really liked some of the suggestions – here, reframed in some of my own language.

1. Speak Kindly to Yourself

If you, too, have an inner critic, redirecting your own inner dialogue holds considerable promise for positive change. Imagine how you would comfort a friend and extend the same kindness to yourself. What would you like a comforting parent or relative to say to you?

2. Acknowledge Your Flawsomeness!

The more I get to know people – knowing beneath the facades – the more I realise how flawsome people are! Seriously, I think it is awesome the way people cope with setbacks, problems, and relationships. Many I’ve met have played a huge role in causing their own problems – very much as flawed human beings. Hence ‘flawsome’ – another way of saying, “I’m Human.” All of them have good intentions, that have somehow gone wrong. With flawsome resilience, they face the chaos and show compassion to themselves and, equally importantly, to others. The more flawsome I realise I am, the more tolerant and compassionate I am becoming towards others.

3. Change Your Opinion About Success

For most, perfection and success are very black and white. You’ve either achieved your goals and ambitions or you haven’t. I think this lacks compassion and sense. How much better to focus on the process towards the dream rather than the outcome in isolation. Let’s recognise the end result we desire but then focus on the small steps of the process, and be really, really happy with each tiny sign of progress. Maybe we can become that doting parent that gets ridiculously pleased with every achievement their child makes.

4. Create Rituals of Comforting Kindness and Compassion

Take a warm bath, listen to soothing music, or cream in your coffee. Build moments of comfort into your daily life. One of the most comforting kinaesthetic props I have at the moment is my weighted blanket. It wraps itself around me, almost smothering me, and feels like a cuddle. Yes, I have a cuddle blanket.

There was a lot more but I prefer the fact that there is vast experience and wisdom in our community.  Thus, with huge anticipation, I throw the question over to you: how would you show self-compassion?

Lex 

A Moodscope member