I am not apologising for being me

9 May 2022

As our exhibition of art proceeded, I took my turn to be on duty, and did a 3 hour shift on Sales. It was a complicated procedure, with 2 receipt books, 2 lists, and a new card machine, plus 2 cash boxes, one for cash payments on cards, one for cash payments on paintings. You had to address the task , be on top of it in front of the buying customer, and record every detail asked for. The number of the painting, the name of the painter… you get the idea. 

Now I am not known for my dexterity and organisation, and started to notice a sprinkling of jokes at my expense creeping in. I thought “ Hang on, they’re poo-pooing my lack of skill in a certain area.  Internally, I started to defend myself. I was new to this, it was hard to keep on track, I’d get it right in time. And then I reasoned : Why am I taking this ? Why berate someone who is trying but having a degree of dyslexia can’t score 100%? So I started to congratulate myself when there was no hitch, and rise above the comments. 

Now I like to think that I’m a kind person and so I wouldn’t dream of doing the same back, that is, being unkind at someone’s less than perfect performance on, say, form filling.  So I got to the point on that shift where I was congratulating myself for newly acquired skills, having had no prior training and the thought came to me : I am not apologising for being me. And I’d advise you all to do the same. Stand tall. Let no one stand in judgment over you, your skills, or perceived lack of them!

Oh, and in the midst of all this I sold one of my own paintings. And then another. These small successes give me the impetus to keep on painting with renewed determination and fervour! 


A Moodscope member.

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