I am not Sick

20 Sep 2021

Recently a local gossip stopped me while I walked my dog and asked;”Hey why aren't you at work? Oh that's right I forgot. You're sick." 

"I am not sick," I replied. "And I will be working later today." 

Given the source, he wasn't trying to be malicious, but it reminded me of the vast ignorance and redneck mentality of the small town I live in. It is the trend to work eighty hours a week and make truck payments, it is not okay to be on disability. I let them think as they want, unless they come at me talking gibberish about me being sick, like some kind of human write-off. 

Overcoming mental health obstacles means not over identifying with them. Especially with a CPTSD diagnosis. When I lift my proverbial gaze above the mental issue, I can still see a way for me to live as healthy as possible. There are things I have to do to be healthy, don't we all? 

I changed the meaning of the letters CPTSD to mean Can Party Til Sun Down. It evolves... some days it means Colossal Promises to Sing Dixie... a term used here to mean telling falsehoods, only put as “Whistling Dixie." But you see what I am doing. Instead of “woe is me, I have this thing wrong with me"...I play with the words and recently overcame some of the claustrophobias.

Note I did not say:"my claustrophobia." I do not lay claim to things I don't want. Hence why I don't talk about mental illness as "my disease." That will sink my functionality. Mental illness affects me, but so does mental health. And when I take my medication and go for my walks, take my deep breaths and play my musical instrument, I feel well. Those are my results.

Nobody's health of any kind is etched in stone, the best mental health can change for worst and vice versa. Things can get better. I just hope when I cross paths with someone struggling, that I come up with something helpful and kind to say to them.

A paramedic told me once:”We start healing the moment we are injured." I hope that is true for all aspects of the human life, body, soul, spirit, mind. I believe it can be.


A Moodscope member.

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