“Passports, please,” said the official. In a disinterested, verging on bored, voice.

I gasped in a moment of disbelief and horrified shock, then felt the ground melt away beneath me as I dropped into the world’s biggest sinkhole of despair: I had forgotten my passport.

Thankfully, this is only a reoccurring dream for me, but it happened to one of my friends and she missed her flight because of it. How can one forget something as important thing as a passport?

How can one forget to do something one does every week? It would be like forgetting to cook my husband his breakfast, which I do every day. But I did: I forgot to write my blog!

To be fair, there were extenuating circumstances – I was dealing with a family crisis most of yesterday – but all the same… And it’s not as if there are dreadful consequences to me forgetting: you still got your blog – just not mine.

How do we deal with those moments of horror? It’s not just forgetting things, it’s doing something terribly wrong, where the consequences can be severe.

I remember when I was working as an accountant in the NHS. Our yearly accounts were nearly finished, and our Director of Finance had worked hard to make sure everything balanced. The day before the accounts were due to be submitted, I realised I had miscalculated some of my figures; the difference being three million pounds! I had a choice: I could admit my mistake and probably get the sack, or I could keep quiet and hope the auditors didn’t spot it. It was an obscure part of the accounts, and I was fairly sure the auditors wouldn’t do more than give the figures a cursory glance, and, besides, the accounting was complex and nobody who didn’t regularly work in that area would understand it. What would you have done?

After an hour’s agonising indecision, I decided to do the right thing and owned up to my mistake, even though I knew it would cause my Finance Director trouble. It was her decision whether to rectify that mistake in the accounts or not. I still don’t know what she chose to do. Sure enough, a couple of months later, I was asked to resign. It wasn’t just that mistake, although I’m sure that contributed to it. I was unsuited to a career in accountancy and my director made that – very gently and kindly – clear when she asked me to go. I still think I made the right decision about admitting to my mistake,

Whether we forget something vital, or make the wrong decision, we must deal with the consequences. Some consequences are just a moment of horror, embarrassment and inconvenience caused to people who rely on you. Some consequences can be devastating, not only to you, but to others.

I think the only way to deal with them is to accept those consequences with grace and to deal with our consciences as best we can.

Mary

A Moodscope member