I have three children, ages 10, 9 and 7. I always wanted a family, I always wanted to have loads of children. So now I feel so guilty that I'm like this, that the depression makes me feel so poorly and weepy and some days all that I do is grumble or cry. That they wipe the tears off my cheeks when I cry on the school run or that they shy away when I lose my temper, at the end of my tether because I can't deal with the bickering and the noise anymore. I've run out of reason.
Now my 7 year old has shown anxiety, he shouts, he has zero tolerance. He can still be the most loving little boy, funny, clever, creative and bursting with beautiful life. But his shouting upsets me, because I see his distress, and I don't like the noise or disharmony.
Has he got anxiety and depression? Has he got attachment problems because I was so poorly when he was very little? Is he just a normal little boy trying to deal with tiring school and testosterone?
Do we all look at our family around us and try to find where this illness comes from, how it is affecting those closest to us? Who will it affect next?
A Moodscope member.
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