Recently I babysat a two and a half year old while her parents were at a wedding. She was fine till bedtime and screamed I want Mummy and daddy many many times.

I thought, how, no matter how old or young we are, whether our parents are alive or not, whether we had a close relationship or not, we may still want or need our parents on some level.

My own mother died 20 years ago this year my dad 14 years ago and I miss them a lot. I do not necessarily need them but when I was feeling the loss of my house and shop, I really wanted someone to comfort me. I did imagine my dad would say, why did you buy a wooden house surrounded by trees.  

A friend of mine whose mum died a year ago and with whom she had a challenging relationship, misses the fact that they could never tell each other how much they loved each other. She found a page in her mum’s diary saying how sad she was that they always argued. My friend misses the mother’s love she never knew but now knows existed.

My partner who was adopted at birth, never met his birth mother or birth father. He did not have a close relationship with the parents who brought him up, said he wished, when he went through the sudden end of his first marriage that he had a mum or dad who could have helped him.

This need for adults often occurs at a time of crisis when the thought of having someone older and wiser there to guide us is important.

I would like to know when you have wanted or needed your parents emotionally or practically? Were you surprised you wanted them?

Or are you someone who seeks out another person for comfort and reassurance?

Leah

A Moodscope member.