One of the consequences of being hyper-creative and an INFP* is forever seeing ways to improve people!

I'm sure we've all got 'friends' who are full of... advice.

I used to have one ('used to') whose catchphrase was, "You know what your problem is?" [Fascinatingly, he knew what everyone else's problem was... though I doubt he had the same clarity about his own.]

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Sam Sharma, a friend and coach, changed the course of my life two years ago. And he achieved this with just one phrase: "Never coach anyone without their permission!"

This resonated with me immediately, and it's only taken me two years to make sense of it in my own behaviours...

YOU DON'T WANT FIXING!

The truth is that we all 'need' fixing but we have so much invested in the current situation that we 'know'.

If we were to be 'fixed' or even to start the process, everything would change, and that's a massive commitment.

Your current friends and family have also invested in you staying the way you are! There's too much to lose!

Many people need MASSIVE discomfort before they'll risk investing in changing.

A health scare, a bereavement, a broken relationship, the loss of a job... all these can be sufficiently 'energetic' to give us the oomph to change.

Until then, I'll leave you in peace.

Lex

A Moodscope member.

[*INFP is a four-letter code from the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator. There's a free version of the assessment at 16personalities.com – and I recommend this bit of self-discover, especially in the light of Mary's blog on the Iceberg. If you'd be happy to share what you come out as, it would be a great way to get to know you better... but not to fix you!]