Something we do all the time can become so commonplace that we don't think about it and it becomes, in effect, a blind spot.

Perhaps the most important blind spot of all is in the way we talk and listen to other people in conversation.

Our most fundamental need is to feel heard. To feel understood. It allows us to feel validated and acknowledged.

Yet, it can happen very rarely. In fact research shows that 70% of conversations are unproductive or poor.

The key seems to be to listen attentively, concentrating on what the other person is trying to say. And importantly, then to show you have heard by summarising what you have heard (the words and music) and check it with the speaker.

By listening hard, ironically, you will find that others will want to listen to you. Mutual understanding or empathy will grow. And this empathy is the basis of rewarding relationships. And good relationships are the basis of a better life.

Sounds easy, but it can be very difficult in practice. But well worth the effort.

Adrian

The Moodscope team.